They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
