I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
