Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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