Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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