Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
