I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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