there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
