he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
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haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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