Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
