On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
