The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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