I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize