it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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