Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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