i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
