Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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