TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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