Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
