i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
