This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
