I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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