There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
