I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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