You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
