Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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