just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I believe in your delicious
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
