You're my little dorito
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
