Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
