actually, I'm a sock model
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
