can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
