No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The air was thick with penises
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
