i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
