i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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