I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
