Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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