I molested 6 butterflies tonight
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
