dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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