so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
