I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
