Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
