On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
