After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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