I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
