He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
