And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
