all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
