I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
