but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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