I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
