just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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