she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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