have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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