oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
