dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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