I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
