I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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