Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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