She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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